Life on the Beach

Yup, I’m beaching it… South Beaching it, that is. This is quite the monumental occasion for me – I’ve never officially “dieted” before! But on Monday I finally decided to something about the fact that it seems like every time I step on the scale at the Dr’s (we don’t have a scale at home) I’m getting confirmation of the fact that my metabolism is slowing down – and that married life is agreeing with me…a little too well. :) And the fact that I can’t fit into any of my cute capri’s that I bought last summer is pretty convincing, too. So, to the Beach I turn, in hopes of finding my thin thighs again. Now, granted, my weight now isn’t a whole heck of a lot, but seeing that about 20 pounds have come on in the past 2 ½ years, and my “fat jeans” that I bought after I gained the first ten pounds are getting pretty tight, it really is time to do something about it. So, so far things are going pretty well, I think. Like I said before, we don’t have a scale, so I’m not able to keep track of the pounds. But I wasn’t worried about weight to begin with – I’m really just more concerned with how I look and feel – and fit in my clothes. And I think I can notice a little difference in my pants already. I hope it’s not just my imagination telling me there’s a difference! So here I sit, guzzling my water and trying to ignore my stomach’s rumblings. Ah, but it will be so worth it!

Anyway… we got the apartment! It all worked out with the landlady, so now I just have to worry about scrounging up the money to come up with this month’s rent plus a security deposit for the new place – not to mention finishing up paying for Troy’s summer school class. But ya know, I’m just not worried about it! I know that God’s going to work it all out. So we have an appointment scheduled with the landlady to go pick out carpet colors in a couple of weeks! And I’m sure shortly after that we’ll start looking at paint colors – or maybe before then, even? I don’t know – I’m just really excited!

In ttc news – I had my ultrasound yesterday – and it seems that it was pretty inconclusive. The technician who did it was super nice, but she couldn’t tell me a whole lot. She said that PCOS is very hard to diagnose with u/s, which made me wonder why the Dr. would’ve scheduled one for me in the first place, but oh well. I guess they just do those as a preliminary means of seeing if anything’s wrong. She said I had a lot of follicles on my ovaries – which didn’t really look cyst-ish, but she said the Dr. would be able to tell better. So they’re supposed to be calling in the next couple of days. I hope they call before the weekend – I’d really like to have a definitive answer. I’m really leaning towards trying Clomid for a couple of cycles. Couldn’t hurt anything. Hopefully in the next couple of months I can start that.

My 5 year high school reunion is on Saturday – which should be pretty fun, but at the same time I’m kind of dreading seeing all my classmates that are pg/have kids – and getting all those “so, is anything new with you guys?” (glances at stomach repeatedly while asking) Seems like we get a lot of that whenever we see anyone from our high school – because we were the couple that was together all through high school, and so naturally everyone expected us to get married and start popping out kids right away. Actually, what the Juniors predicted when I graduated was that I would have 14 kids with Troy. Ha! We’ll be lucky if we have one at this rate. So, hopefully that all goes ok. Then after the reunion we’re going camping all weekend! Super excited about that. We’re going with my sister and BIL – and taking our boat, so it’ll be really fun. It should be a nice way to just forget about everything for awhile and just have some good, clean fun!

We're Moving! (...maybe...)

It’s actually kind of a long complicated story, but hey, I’ve got time! :) Well, we’ve been thinking about it for quite a while – since we quit the manager position at the apartment complex where we live now. (Long story there, too – but we did it for a year, and then got a new boss who was… well, basically a chauvinist jerk to me, so we quit in December) So anyway – we started looking kinda half-heartedly a couple of months ago, but weren’t really ready to commit to moving (we have to give a 60-day notice) because we weren’t sure if we’d be able to find something that was just what we were looking for. I wanted to get out of the apartment building scene, if possible, and into a duplex or small house or something, but it also had to be less that what we’re paying now for rent, because of Troy taking more credits at school next semester, and only working part time. Well, looking casually through the paper last week, I came across an upper duplex for rent, so I thought I’d call and get some information on it. When I called I didn’t get much of a chance to even ask questions – the lady just wanted us to come and see it right away. That was fine with me, because I wanted to see it anyway. So we went to see it on Sunday afternoon, and were a little disappointed – the carpet was in bad shape, the place was generally kinda rough. But it has SOOO much potential! And it was about the price we were looking for, plus heat is included in rent, so that’ll knock a good chunk off the monthly expenses in winter. So we decided we’d fill out the application, wait for them to okay us, and then talk to them about the work that needed to be done. Well, we filled out the application, and I dropped it off Monday night – or at least I thought I’d just be dropping it off. I ended up talking to the lady for like 45 minutes, and she looked over the application and ok’d it right then and there! So I felt comfortable asking her at that point about the work that needed to be done, and when I did, she totally agreed, and said they would be fixing the things that needed to be fixed, and re-carpeting the place. I asked her if she thought maybe we could help – for pay, and she agreed to that, too – and she said we could even do the carpet and painting in the colors we wanted!!! Awesome! Well, the only problem in all of this was that towards the end of the conversation, she sort of sneaked in a comment about expecting us to start paying rent in June. Well, obviously that’s not going to work if we have to pay rent at the place we’re at now until July. And silly me didn’t stop her and ask right then and there, so now basically she thinks we’re going to be paying them for rent in June and July, (even thought she knows we wouldn’t be moving till the end of July) when actually we have NO intentions of doing that whatsoever. So I have to call her and talk to her about it. We’re gonna see if she’ll take the security deposit and hold it for us, and then we could pay her for the last week of July, since we’ll probably be moving in then, anyway, and start with a full month’s rent in August. I’m really nervous to talk to her about it, because I know she really liked us, but I’m sure she was hoping to have someone in there right away in June. So cross your fingers for me – I’m kinda getting my heart set on the place already – thinking about all that we can do with it. It’s a huge old white Victorian house, and the place just has so much character. The bathtub is one of those claw-foot ones! So cool! And there’s a beautiful wood stair case going into the place, with a pretty window, and a great wrap-around porch with porch swings… aw, jeez, I’ve gotta stop, before I get too attached! I have a good feeling about it, though, so here’s really hoping!

Wow - that was really long. Kudos if you read it all!

Tonight’s the Mother-Daughter thingy at my church, so I hope that goes okay. Mother’s Day wasn’t too bad, but it was sooo different to go through a Mother’s Day with this new perspective. It stinks. So tonight’s thing is centered around a “time” theme – so hopefully the speaker will focus more on that than motherhood. That would make it more bearable.

Less than a week till my ultrasound – I wish it was over. I kinda wish I had gone on Clomid this cycle – it’s so frustrating feeling like I’m wasting months, when each one could mean conceiving. Oh well, all in God’s time, right? I just have to keep telling myself that.

Not much to report here...

Well, let’s see – it’s been awhile, so where did I leave off?? On the fertility side of things… the OB/GYN appt. last week was…well, not very informative, to say the least. He basically went over my history, gave me a real quick pelvic exam, and sent me on my way, giving me a couple suggestions, and told me nothing is wrong with me, I’m young, healthy, and I don’t need to worry about it. Ha. He didn’t think that I had PCOS, since I don’t have all the typical symptoms, so he didn’t think that Glucophage would do me any good. His suggestions were either go back on the pill for a few months, and then see what happens when I come off of it, or try a dose of Clomid, or try a combination of both the pill for 3 months and Clomid right away coming off of it. In my opinion, I’d be willing to try the Clomid for a limited time, but the pill again really does not sound like the answer to me, not only because I was already on it once and it didn’t work for me coming off of it that time, but also because I DON’T WANT TO GO ON THE PILL AGAIN! I know he was just trying to help, but seriously, I just don’t want to do that. I feel like I know my body enough to know that that wouldn’t work. He also said he could refer me to the fertility specialist, and he also suggested an ultrasound to make sure my ovaries don’t look Polycystic-ish. So the u/s appt is scheduled for 2 weeks from yesterday. It was going to be yesterday, but I had to reschedule it because work got crazy and I couldn’t leave early like I originally thought I would be able to. So once we get the results back from that, I think we’ll try to make heads or tails of what we’re going to do next. So I left that appt feeling really down - frustrated that there was no cut and dry answer to what's wrong with me - or according to him, what's NOT wrong with me. But Troy was really sweet and optimistic about the fact that the Dr. didn't think it was PCOS. One option eliminated, at least. But then again, not necessarily. I don't know. So then Troy and I ended up having this long talk about how far we want to take this whole thing, and I ended up in tears, and frustrated because it just sucks that we even have to "decide" how far we're going to go to try to have a baby. We should only have to go as far as having sex. At the right time of the month. And that should be IT. Period. Grrrr. And AF finally decided to show up, after my longest cycle ever – 83 days - so this time it was actually a bit of a relief, so at least we can get on with another "cycle." And once again, we wait.
I’m looking out the window right now at nasty wind, rain and – can you believe this – hail. That’s right. Good ole’ Wisconsin spring. Just when you think it’s here for good… BAM – 10 inches of snow! No, it’s not usually that bad, but sometimes it feels like it. No run tonight. Troy and I went the past 2 nights together – that was fun! He’s actually turning out to be a really great running partner – the girlfriend that I would usually go with was ok, but I wasn’t feeling challenged enough. Troy pushes me just the right amount. He’s so great. :)
Well, that's about it. I better finish a couple things up at work here before 5:00.

The Dr's Call

Well, this afternoon I got the call I’ve been waiting for – to be honest, it was a little disappointing. My Dr. basically didn’t say anything that I didn’t already know – she told me that my hormone levels showed that I haven’t been ovulating and that’s the reason I’m having irregular cycles. Really??? Gee, I wish I would have known that before! Other than that, she said everything looks pretty normal (insulin, etc. – for the suspected Polycystic Ovaries) – so the next step is to see the OB/GYN for further exploration. Literally. :) LOL. So I have an appt for Friday afternoon - we’ll see how that goes. I’ve never seen this guy yet – he did part of my surgery last September when I had a cyst on my ovary that burst and was bleeding internally (long story there, too) – but I was never awake to see him, so I really don’t know what to expect. He also did my mom’s hysterectomy, and she said he’s super nice, so I’m hoping so. I really hope he’s had some experience in infertility issues – I really don’t know where he is as far as that goes, but he was highly recommended by my Dr, so that has to be a good thing. My Dr. also said something about the Glucophage again – that they’ll probably want me to go on that to see if it regulates things before we try anything else. So, now it’s waiting time again. Jessica, you must be a VERY patient person by now! I have a feeling that all this waiting is just beginning.

Tonight my sister and I are making my mom a “colored woman”! J We’re coloring her hair! She’s almost totally grey, and she’s done wash out colors before, but this will be the first time she does a permanent color. It’s the same color as she did last time in the 28 day kind – so it won’t be anything too drastic, but it should be fun. I’m not biased at all, but my mom is the cutest mom in the world! I just love her! J Of course, we get along a lot better since I got married and moved out J - but still! She is truly one of the most sweet, godly people I know, or I believe I will ever meet. She is such an inspiration to me! Anyway – sorry to get sappy there, but if you girls could meet her, you’d know exactly what I mean.

I’ve been trying to get into running again, too. I was such a runner back in high school in college – and then I got married, and had all this time on my hands, and totally slacked off! So last night I went about 2 miles – and I almost DIED!!! It was sooo bad – but it really inspired me when I realized how terribly out of shape I am. So I think I’ll try and go again tonight (although I’m pretty sore today – so I’ll probably not go nearly as long). Troy wants to start running again, too – and wants us to run together. I always feel so intimidated when I run with him, because he’s always been really athletic – and FAST! But it’s fun to do it together, so I just have to get over myself!

Time to wrap up this book! Almost time to go home!!!

Bad Monday

Can I please just crawl back in bed and pretend this day never started? Please? It actually wasn’t a bad day to start off with. Troy and I had a great, relaxing weekend, so I thought I was ready to come back to work today… I got up and ready on time had a great conversation with my MIL on the way to work, punched in on time, started getting things ready to run payroll this morning. At that point I was confronted by the lady that I do the back up work for when she’s gone – which I did Friday afternoon since she left at 1:00. Well, apparently (according to her) everyone at work thinks I go gallivanting around not on any set time schedule, coming and going as I please. See, I left Friday at 5:00 (we’re open till 6), because I had to take Troy to work (long story – his truck broke down, so we’re operating on one car right now – pain in the butt). Well, someone came in that needed to see me after I left on Friday, and no one knew that I had left for the day. Normally I would have told one of the front desk girls, but when I was leaving, they were all busy. So, I really should have told someone – yes, but I really didn’t think anyone would need to see me between 5 and 6. So this lady decides to take it upon herself to make me feel absolutely terrible for not being here, and for what she obviously thinks is running around without a set schedule like everyone else. The thing is, this lady isn’t even my boss – her office is right by my desk, and since I’m the backup for her she must feel like it’s her place to tell me she thinks I’m terribly irresponsible or something. See, I do have a set schedule, however, mine is a little bit more flexible because I’m the only one in my department (besides my boss), and she really doesn’t care if I need to leave a little early some nights, as long as I get my work done. So why should people care whether or not I’m working the exact same hours as them???? AAARRRRGGG!!! This place is SO FRUSTRATING sometimes. This lady that said something to me has been known for being a bit hard to deal with, but I was kinda proud of the fact that we usually get along great, and I had never had problems with her before. Maybe that was my downfall. So then I go downstairs to the break room to get away from it, and what happens? One of the other ladies starts talking about her pregnant daughter, and then they all start asking me when I’m going to have babies! I just avoided the question, but it still upset me. Honestly. Why do people think it’s their business? I will never ask someone that question again, as long as I live. I haven’t told too many people here yet, just because all the ladies here talk, and I know that within minutes of my telling the wrong person, the whole bank would know that Troy and I are ttc and not having the easiest time of it. There’s one other girl here having some fertility issues – right now she’s on Clomid, and like everyone knows about it. I don’t know how she does it. On one hand it might be kinda nice to have the support (and not deal with all the “when are you going to start having babies?” questions), but at the same time, I don’t think I would want the whole world to know that my husband and I are trying and haven’t been able to conceive yet. Maybe that’s something that I’ll get over the longer we’re trying, but for now, I really don’t want to broadcast it.
I still haven’t heard anything back from the Dr. about my blood tests. Hopefully by the middle of the week I’ll have heard something so we can get this thing going. This waiting is frustrating. Thankfully my UTI cleared up by yesterday.
Oh, while I’m thinking of Clomid – funny story. Yesterday at church Troy was talking to this man (about our dads’ age) about his migraines – Troy and this other guy both get them, and Troy was telling him about this new medication he’s on for it. While he’s talking, I’m standing next to him, but talking to someone else. All of a sudden I hear Troy say “It’s called Clomid.” I looked over at him, and realized what he was talking about, so I quickly corrected him and said “No, it’s called Inderal,” but this whole time, the guy he’s talking to and his daughter are dying laughing – see, his wife and this same daughter both have PCOS, so they knew exactly what clomid is, and were going into hysterics thinking about Troy taking clomid for his migraines!! Poor Troy turned beet red – but he’s heard a little about clomid from me, so it wasn’t familiar enough to him to associate it with my issues, but yet familiar enough to come to mind when thinking about medications. Poor guy was so embarrassed! But oh my goodness, we just about died laughing about that one. ;o)
Well, this post is really becoming a book, and payroll is calling. I better get on with it. Here’s hoping the rest of the week is better than Monday!