Nothing New

I really don’t have a whole lot to say, but I have this compulsion to post something, so here I am! I guess since taking a break from ttc, I feel like I don’t really know what to talk about here. I could bore you with the family drama that I’ve been having with my sister lately… or the fact that my cat went into heat this over the weekend (she’s scheduled to get fixed next month) and has been meowing insanely and pawing on all the windows for the past 4 days… or about the little chest pain scare that Troy had last week which ended him up at the Dr’s office, with no conclusion… or that we got a new vacuum cleaner last weekend, and I was so excited because it works like 100 times better than our old one did!… or that I dyed my hair again – a little bit lighter brown this time… or that we went out to Cheesecake Factory on Saturday and I had the most amazing Madeira Chicken and Tiramisu Cheesecake EVER… … …but that would all be boring, so I guess I really don’t have anything to say. :o)

So much to post about! So little time!

I’ll do the very best I can in the half hour that I have left at work today. Let’s see… speaking of work, I got a change of scenery! And it’s a good thing! Kind of hard to explain, but they put up some new cubes where my desk used to be, so they moved mine to be by my boss’s office… and I just love it! I inherited a window and a bigger - yet a little more closed off - space. So that was my big news here last week. I’m feeling quite a bit more organized now, too, because moving forced me to go through all of my files and get rid of a lot of stuff – something that had been needing to be done for quite awhile.
Another work-related thing, but a little more personal. So last Friday the last of the group of 3 pg girls to have her baby had her shower, and in conversation one of the tellers basically told me she thought I should be in the next group of 3 to get pg. (because you know that thing about how things always come in 3’s) I was like, well okay, since that’s what YOU think, then sure! Grr. Then she rattled off another girl who got married about a year and a half ago who she thought should get pg next too, and then she said she didn’t know who else. Now I think I’ve mentioned this here before, but there is one other IF girl at work here, and she’s been trying, off and on, for over 3 years, and this teller didn’t even think to mention her. I was thinking “HELLO!!!” But I just said, “I think it’s Tamara’s turn, don’t you?” She was like, Oh yeah.
Duh.
So not only was I hurting for me, but I was hurting for her too. How can people be so stupid and insensitive? Sorry, I don’t mean to sound like a jerk, but, seriously, I understand that she would say that to me since she doesn’t know that we’ve been trying, but the other girl? To totally leave her out? Everyone knew when they were going to start trying, and then heard all about their struggles, and the different fertility meds/procedures that they were trying. Duh. So that kind of got my Friday off to a sucky start, but anyway… that was almost a week ago, so I’ll let it go. :) It’s just SO frustrating, you know?
So… what else? Oh, I talked to my best friend from high school last night for like the first time in over a month, and she informed me that she might possibly be getting married this coming summer! Which is AWESOME, I am SO excited for her, but it’s kind of bad timing seeing that she lives in Arizona, and I HAVE to go to her wedding (no question!), and we already have Troy’s brother’s wedding in July, and then the cruise that we were planning (although not really PLANNING yet, per se) for October/November-ish. So if we’re paying for plane tickets to AZ and 2 weddings in July/August… yikes. That’s going to hurt the ole’ vacation budget. But worth it if that’s what happens, of course. :) She’s half Vietnamese, and so she’s always been attracted to Asian guys, but never really had too many around here to choose from. So when she moved to AZ for a teaching job last July she met James. He’s from Hong Kong, in fact, his parents and family all still live over there… so that should basically explain it… and the rest was history! She’s so cute, and I’m so happy for her. And I can’t wait to meet this guy! :)
About ttc… nothing exciting to report. Really, NOTHING. I’m on about cycle day 3 or 4 of really light spotting that I can only assume is the non-ovulatory bleeding that I am all too used to. Lovely. I’m just trying to get through the next couple of months by really focusing on my relationship with God and having faith that in EVERYTHING, I need to believe that He is doing what’s right and best for us. Easier said than done, though – I keep wanting to take it all back and worry about it! So hard, but He’s definitely working in me. So I guess it’s not all just waste of time, right?Well, my time’s just about up. I don’t want to keep Troy waiting, so I’m going to wrap up and get going! Happy hump day!

Joining the survey fun

... as usual, a little late. :) Hopefully a real post to follow (maybe tomorrow?)
Three Names You Go By:1. Cherie2. Toots (who other than Troy’s nickname for me)3. Cherry-bomb, cherry-berry, cherry tree, cherry-merry-muffin (seriously), cherry pudding (my grandma’s nickname for me)… you name it, I’ve probably been called it… to be expected with a name like mine.
Three Screen Names You’ve Had:1. cheerio11292. swt_chrry3. Mrs. B
Three Physical Things You Like About Yourself:1. My petite frame, thanks to my mom2. My hair, usually. I can wear it straight or curly/wavy depending on my mood (and how much time I have to get ready in the morning!). Sometimes it doesn’t cooperate though, and then it’s a pain in the butt.3. I like that Troy likes the way I look, if that counts. Just the other day he told me that he doesn’t think I need to lose any weight (because he knows I’ve been a bit obsessive about it) – he loves where I’m at right now. What a sweetie.
Three Physical Things You Don’t Like About Yourself:1. My thighs. Ugh. I NEED to start running again!2. My complexion right now – I’m STILL dealing with the after-effects of clomid. Lovely. 3. My wide feet. They’re small (size 5½-6), so shoes are usually a tad too narrow or I have to go a little too long.
Three Parts of Your Heritage:1. Scottish/Irish 2. English3. German
Three Things That Scare You:1. Losing Troy2. Bad thunderstorms at night (really, they do)3. The thought of never being able to have children
Three of Your Everyday Essentials:1. Chapstick – a must!2. My wedding/engagement ring3. Music! I don’t know how I’d get through my workday without it.
Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:1. Chapstick :)2. My wedding/engagement ring :)3. Black/pink pinstripe work suit
Three of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists: Hmmm… this varies a lot from day to day – it’s really whatever I’m feeling at the moment because I like a big variety of music. Some of my top picks of today would include:1. Josh Groban2. Faith Hill3. Casting Crowns
Three of Your Favorite Songs (by above artists respectively):1. When You Say You Love Me – such a romantic song!2. If I Should Fall Behind3. Pretty much all their songs on their Lifesong CD – probably Praise You in this Storm if I had to pick
Three Things You Want in a Relationship1. Total Openness/Honesty – so important!2. Unconditional Love3. Laughter
Three Physical Things about the Preferred Sex Which Appeal to You:1. Dark features (hair, eyes, complexion)2. Self-confidence (that can show in the physical, right?)3. Big/strong enough to make me feel small and feminine
Three of Your Favorite Hobbies:1. Playing the piano2. Star/moongazing with my new telescope!3. Beading
Three Things You Want to Do Really Badly Right Now:1. Hmmm… go home and sleep!2. Get rid of the smoke smell in my apt :(3. Be with Troy
Three Careers You’ve Considered: 1. Nursing2. SAHM3. Teaching
Three Places You Want to Go On Vacation:1. Caribbean Cruise2. Hawaii3. Europe
Three Kids’ Names You Like :1. Jacob2. Ashleigh3. Ryan
Three Things You Want to do Before You Die:1. Become a mother2. Learn to play the violin well3. Become more like Jesus
Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically a Boy:1. I like Playstation driving games :)2. I like wearing baseball hats3. I know how to change oil, tires, and do a brake job on a car (hey, I married a car guy!)
Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically a Girl:1. I LOVE shopping, shoes, clothes, purses… all that girly stuff2. I love to get flowers3. Pink is my favorite color
Three Celeb Crushes:Well, I wouldn’t call them crushes, but I’m also not going to say that they’re not cute! ;)1. Patrick Dempsey2. Matthew McConaughey (those dimples!)3. This isn’t current, but when I was little I thought Fred Savage from the Wonder Years was so cute!
Two Truths and a Lie1. I should be working right now2. I’m craving Mac & Cheese3. I’m not at all excited about our cruise next fall!

Of lost lizards and time...

Seriously, where does the time go? I want to know! It has been harder and harder to post recently, and even today I have about 10 other things sitting on my desk calling to me... but I have chosen to ignore them for the moment. They're not going anywhere. And it's just stuff like, you know, people's W-2's. Nothing important, right? Ha ha. :) Oh well. So chances are good that this post is going to be a bit all over the place, so bear with me.
On the ttc front, things are pretty much at a standstill. No O this month, and my body is back to its old self again. Which is nice as far as the crazy emotions and stuff, but basically means that well, you know, chances are good that I won't be getting pregnant without some kind of help. As far as the future and our reproduction goes, we've decided to go ahead and see the specialist like we were going to in May, to find out what they suggest/our options, and at that point we'll probably make decisions about what we're going to do and the timing of everything. I can't seem to get the foster care thing out of my head. I don't know if it's God putting in there, but for some reason I keep thinking about it. Troy doesn't seem too excited about it, though, so he said that God would definitely have to change his heart about it if we were to pursue it. I don't know. I definitely want children of our own (to keep forever) someday, but I just feel like being a foster parent could be such a huge, awesome thing. Scary, yes. Very. But SUCH an opportunity. Once again, though, if we were to look into that it would be after Troy's done with school, and even most likely after we own a home. We're kind of at a frustrating point right now, because we're SO close to him being done, and yet this is one of his hardest semesters yet, so he has to stay focused on school and can't think about what's coming afterwards yet. More frustrating for me, really, because I AM thinking about what's coming next, and I want to talk to him about it, but he doesn't want to yet. I am thankful that he is serious about finishing, though. It's SO time for him to be done. Ahhh, less than 15 weeks on Friday... :)
We have a wedding coming up in a couple of weeks that, honestly, I'm not really looking forward to. Nice guy, we know him from church, but he met this girl from Indiana, who nobody really knows and yet for some reason she has asked my sister to stand for her, and Troy and my BIL are both standing for him, so that leaves me to basically fend for myself since I don't know if there's any of our other friends going. I hate being alone at weddings, it just sucks. So that's my whine for the day. At least it will mean a nice night away, though. It's the weekend before Valentine's Day, so maybe we'll make it a little romantic weekend?? We'll see. Funny story though. Troy was talking to the friend (who's wedding it is) last week and he mentioned casually that they will be doing some sight seeing in Chicago after the wedding... and invited the group along to go with them... so Troy's like, oh, like the next day or after the honeymoon or something? And the friend says no, right after the wedding. Ummm... now, call me crazy, but wouldn't someone who has saved themselves for marriage kind of be wanting to do something else after the wedding? Something that doesn't include a whole group of friends? I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy, but we got a bit of a kick out of that. ;)
So you know how I got Troy a lizard for Christmas? Well, surprise surprise, the cats have taken quite a fancy to the poor little thing. This really had not been a problem until yesterday - we've been keeping him on a bookshelf in our bedroom, and the cats like to sit on the shelf below and crane their necks around to look at it. So yesterday Troy was home and our cat Allie decides she wants to get a closer look. So Troy was in the livingroom, and he hears a huge crash coming from the bedroom, and walks in to find the aquarium smashed to pieces on the floor. Of course he assumed the worst right away, that the lizard had gotten killed in the fall... but the lizard was no where to be found. So I'm at work and he calls me all depressed, looking for the lizard but having no luck. I tried to console him telling him that we would get a new one, because we both pretty much assumed he was gone for good. But he was so bummed - it was so sad, girls! But alas! As Troy was getting ready for work he noticed Allie looking up at the curtains in the bedroom, and sure enough, there he was! Maybe a little scared, but none the worse for wear. So not only did I get Troy a lizard, I got him a super lizard! Seriously, we have no idea how the thing survived. The aquarium was glass and there were glass pieces all over the place that really should have hurt him... but didn't. Needless to say, Troy was a little bit relieved!
Well, time for me to get those W-2's handed out. I'll TRY not to be so much of a stranger here, but I can't really make any promises since I don't see work slowing down anytime soon. Have a great day ladies. :)

I AM alive!

I’m here! I’m here! I’m here! I’ve missed my little Nest home in the last couple of weeks – in fact, I thought a lot about you girls while I was gone. But I’ve been busy, at work AND at home, as I thought I would be… and then you know how that is where you want to blog again, but you just feel like you’ve been away for so long that what’s another day or 2? Yeah, that’s where I’ve been at for the last couple of days. But I’m here, and I’m slowly getting caught up on everyone else’s lives!
Our holidays were wonderful. As I said before, Troy and I had our own Christmas the Saturday before Christmas, and that was fun, too. Girls, I got Troy a lizard! A real, live, long-tailed lizard! And he LOVED it! He had told me a few months ago that he wanted one when we were looking at one at the pet store, so I went back and they had one left. It’s really cool, and it was so much fun to get him something living and breathing. Maybe someday it will be a puppy, but for now, the lizard was a big hit! :) So that was lots of fun, and after presents we enjoyed watching Elf (with Will Ferrell – LOVE that movie! It was one of my gifts from Troy) and eating our pork tenderloin and all the fixins for dinner.
On Sunday the Christmas Eve service and our play went really well at church, and spending time with Troy’s family on Christmas Eve and Christmas day was wonderfully relaxing and enjoyable. Troy’s parents are just so sweet and generous. I have been SOOO blessed with wonderful in-laws. I’m so thankful for that.
Then for New Years Eve we ended up having a party with a few friends and family at our place, and so that went really well and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. Of course, it helped that the Packers beat the Bears. :) New Years Day Troy and I stayed in bed until 3 in the afternoon! It was wonderful! When we finally got up we did a little bit of shopping and went out for dinner. I told him that I wished there was a holiday every week. Mmm, wouldn’t that be wonderful?! So that was pretty much our holidays. They’re not quite over for us yet, though, because my family’s Christmas is this Saturday, and also my company Christmas party is on Saturday night. My family always gets together after Christmas, what with all the extended family that 4 married siblings presents… and we do fondue (yum!) and exchange gifts. So I’m looking forward to that. And my company Christmas party should be fun, too – we’re doing a casino night this year, and there’s going to be some great door prizes… yay!... so that will be our weekend in a nutshell. Troy’s back to school next Tuesday already :(. His break has gone WAY too fast. Ahh, but there IS the sweet reminder that this is his LAST. SEMESTER. EVER!!!
On the ttc front. Sigh. We’ve been doing some thinking and talking. For one, I’m probably not going to go back on clomid next month. I was just thinking that if I only have so many cycles of clomid to do – ever – that maybe it might be better to save them for when we’re going to the fertility specialist, since my Dr’s office has been so unbelievably unhelpful thus far. So, pretty much we’ll be at a standstill until at least May. And I say at least because then Tuesday night we were talking about how we would love to buy a house and have opportunities to do things that we might not be able to do when we have kids, whether biologically or through adoption… especially considering the line of work that Troy is going into. It’s not like we’re EVER going to be wealthy, by any means. And we’re okay with that, but it’s just a matter of IF we end up doing a lot of fertility treatments and/or adopting, we’re going to need money to do that, and we won’t have money to spend on other things that we might want. SO… if we won’t be able to get/do those things then, should we wait on pursuing children, just yet? So yeah, they’re some big, hard questions that I almost feel bad asking after all the whining I’ve done about not being able to have kids yet. Not that we would prevent having them, but we just wouldn’t be actively pursuing it yet. I don’t know. It’s so hard. Just, after being off of clomid for only one month, I remember that it’s, well, basically easier to deal with if I’m not being forced to think about things every single day. But I don’t know if that would last. Maybe I’m just feeling that way because I’m not currently surrounded by pregnant girls and newborns. Hmmm… I don’t know. So pray for us, please. We need LOTS of wisdom to make this decision.
Time for me to wrap things up at work. Hope you all are having a great week and start to the New Year!