No answer yet

So you've been on pins and needles, right? I know, I know! Me too! Pastor M never called on Wednesday, so we thought that last night we'd finally get our answer. But still. no. call. Aaack! I was seriously going crazy! So Troy called him this afternoon, and come to find out the deacons weren't able to get together to vote on Wednesday... so now Sunday is the big day. But again when Troy talked to him this afternoon Pastor reiterated that he really believes that this is going to happen and he wants us to plan in that direction. So that set my mind at ease a bit. But now Sunday will be the vote, and hopefully we'll know sometime on Sunday night, but Monday for sure. Ahhh. Finally. But I'm so glad Troy called him this afternoon because now I can enjoy our weekend without jumping every time the phone rings! It's good.

So tonight we're going golfing... Saturday will be probably fishing in the morning for Troy and then we're going with my friend A and her husband and 2 adoreable kids to the zoo! Seriously I haven't been to the zoo since probably Jr High so I'm really excited! In fact I think I'm as excited about it as their 4 year old daughter! Tee hee. :) And Sunday will be church and I think that's about it as far as weekend plans go.

Pray with me that this cycle is short so we can get on with the friggin testing already!!! Thanks! ;) Have a great weekend all!

I'm having a really hard time...

…concentrating today. I keep on thinking that sometime today over in Michigan people will be voting and deciding our future for us. That’s just slightly distracting, no? Just slightly enough to drive me batty! I’m not overly nervous or anything, just anxious to know what it will be – go or stay? Such a big HUGE change for us! Ack! Gotta stop thinking about it!
***
I got to do lunch with my mom and sister yesterday – which is sadly way too uncommon considering we all live within 10 minutes of each other. We’re usually all together every weekend, at least at church if not Sunday lunch too, but it’s nice just to make a special effort to do things sometimes, you know? Especially since I MIGHT not have much longer to be able to do things like this much longer. Notice how much it’s infiltrated my thinking already??? Ay yi yi.
***
My boss said I was glowing this morning. So I let her in on the secret that I started tanning last weekend for my BIL and (almost) SIL’s wedding next weekend. Seriously people, before you judge, I didn’t want to be radioactive white in the pictures. So I was REALLY doing it for them. Ha ha. Okay maybe I just like being tan in the summer. Is that so horrible? *Wish I could say it was pregnancy glow, though. Sigh.:(*
***
It’s cd 13 and I’m FINALLY done with my period, so I’m hoping that this cycle is short so we can FINALLY get on with testing. I’ve got sick days that I might as well use up – since I might not be here to be able to bank them at the end of the year anyways… (see, there it is again!)
***
And all you creative ladies out there… what are some good ideas for decorating a dinner/dance hall for a wedding? I think we’ve got the tables pretty much taken care of, but what about like the entrance, and just the SPACE? I haven’t seen it, but I guess it’s kind of like a gym. I think they’re going to have white lights wrapped in tulle on the ceiling, but doesn’t it need something more? What would you do to make it look fancier? She’s asking me for my opinion/help, and I just am having a hard time! I don’t think cost is too much of an object – maybe I should see what they can rent??? Any ideas?
***
I’m not looking forward to training someone to take my job. :( Can’t I just pack it up and take it with me? (Oops, there’s that thought that we’re leaving again! Gotta stop that!)

She keeps going... and going... and going...

Normally when talking about having a lot of energy I would be referring to my little class of 3-6 year olds… but not today! I’ve been feeling like one of those kids the past couple of days! Since Troy has been on first shift, we’ve been getting to bed by 11:00 every night (which, for us is really early!) so I’ve been getting about 8 hours of sleep all week, and I’m loving it! I haven’t had this much natural energy since before college!

Last night I went to a Pink Shopping Bag Party… and I got an adorable pink purse! It was the first one of those parties that I’ve been to, and I really liked it – there’s really no pressure, because there isn’t a presentation or anything, it’s just a bunch of purses and jewelry out, and you just buy what you want and if you don’t want anything you leave. They have a lot of stuff like Coach and Louis Vuitton knock-offs. Kind of neat. :)

Pastor M called again last night. No, we don’t have an answer yet. We thought the deacons were voting this week, but it’s not until next week. So by later next week we should know. But according to Pastor, this IS what God wants, so He’s going to make it happen! And he was asking us specific questions last night, like what kind of cell phone plan we have (Cingular – which is what the rest of the pastoral staff is on! – one less thing we’ll have to worry about changing) and what kinds of cars we drive. Because, if you know anything at all about Michigan, you’ll know that their economy is based greatly on cars…domestic cars. So bye bye Passat. :( Not necessarily right away, but he suggested that if we move over there we might want to look into getting something GM made (their primary plant is in Warren) before too long – just being in the position that we are, since I guess it is a sensitive issue for some people over there. They also talked a little more about housing and things like that… so we’re really thinking that this IS going to happen if he’s asking details like that. Right?

And, for news on the ole’ reproductive scene… I neglected to mention yesterday that AF came last FRIDAY, so there was no way that we could have gotten in for testing on day 3, which was on Sunday. :P Which sucks, because now we’re pushed back another cycle. So we wait again on my silly body that doesn’t seem to know what it wants to do (I’m on cd8 and still going strong)… so, hopefully this will be a relatively short cycle so that we can have all of the testing done before moving. There’s so much MORE to think about now with a move in mind… change of Drs, insurance, etc, etc… as if it wasn’t complicated enough already. Hence my excitement about the adoptions! Can you blame me? ;)

This weekend won’t be TOO crazy – walking in the Relay for Life for an hour tonight with my mom and probably dinner out with Troy, an activity with the church youth group on Saturday evening, and belated Father’s Days with both sides of the family on Sunday afternoon since we were gone last weekend. Should be nice.

Maybe I’ll even start a little packing???

Finally! THE weekend recap!

Aack! My week at work has been SO busy! I’ve hardly had time to breathe, let alone think about blogging! But anyway, I’m here now, so on to the weekend recap…

Well, I just don’t quite know what to say, except that it was SO good. It really, really was. The pastor and his wife are oh, about in their early 50’s, and just instantly – like, as soon as they picked us up from the airport – made us feel welcomed and at home. The pastor’s wife hugged me and insisted that I call her by her first name, and greeted me with “Oh they were right when they said you were pretty!” How’s that for a warm welcome? She’s what I would think of as a southern belle. She’s SO outgoing and bubbly and just makes everyone feel like they’re her best friend, which I think is wonderful for a pastor’s wife. Although she’s not originally from the south, they were in Tennessee for quite a few years in a church, so she still has a little bit of a southern drawl in her voice, and she’s just… cute. I was told several times on Sunday from various ladies in the church that if there was a pastor’s wife to learn under, she would be the one. And not just because of what you see on the surface – it’s so much more than that. She is a godly woman. We didn’t talk a whole lot about what my responsibilities would be right off the bat, but they did mention that if I wanted to work, at least to begin with, that it would be fine. So it sounds like to begin with I’ll be working at least part-time, and just getting involved in the church where I can, and learning the church and what makes it tick. Because they desire for the new church that they start to have the same heart as the original church. Exciting.
Pastor M also took Troy under his wing right away and from the start it was not “what you COULD be doing” but basically “what you WILL be doing.” It was neat. So in a nutshell what they are looking for is for us (or someone) to train in their church for an undetermined amount of time, as a sort of intern, and then when the timing is right start the new church as the new pastor. No set time, just when it seems right.
And the church! I’m not being enamored or looking through rose-colored glasses or anything… the honest truth is that the church is SO warm and loving. And they are excited about serving Christ and this church-plant. It is really really neat to see. We were introduced to so many people throughout the course of the weekend that our heads were pretty much spinning every night when we went to bed! But it was ok because we WANTED to meet the people. Sunday afternoon after the morning service they held a lunch at the church for the deacons and their families and a few other families interested in being a part of the new church to give them a chance to get to know us/vice versa. So we had a little question and answer time and it’s hard to explain, but there was just such a warm spirit and good camaraderie between them and us that we couldn’t help but be excited about it. And Troy preached in the evening service, and it was received so well by the people, which was another good indicator for us. AND! I can’t forget to mention this here! 3 of the families in their church have adopted! And we got to meet and talk to all 3 of them, and we KNOW that it is absolutely from the Lord that one of the adoptive dads volunteered to take us to the airport on Monday morning – so I totally got to pick his brain about the ins and outs of it all. They actually have already adopted 2 and are in the process of the third. SO neat. Oh, and one more thing that really made us feel at ease about it all was their reaction/understanding spirits about our infertility. They ENCOURAGED us to get our testing done before we move, and they were just SO understanding and sensitive about it all. It was a huge blessing to us.
So… if you can’t tell, we’re a little excited about this opportunity. It really seems, in all of the little details that are coming together, that it is God’s will for us to go. Pastor M said that he would be calling within the week, so we’ve been waiting on pins and needles, with LOTS and LOTS of prayer! The deacons have (had?) to vote on it, but basically it sounded like after talking to Pastor about it on Sunday evening, that the vote would be more a formality. But what we really REALLY want is what God wants in all of this. So we’re excited, and would SO appreciate your prayers as we wait on an answer.
Wow, it feels like I’ve done a horrible job putting this all down, and I know I've skipped over so much, but I hope you can make some sort of sense of it all!

A Thanks, An Update, and A PS

THANKS: to all of you who said such nice, reassuring things after my post last week. Your words were so kind, and my prayer is just that this opportunity, if it should work out (and my life in general, whether this works out or not), will be all about God and what He can do through us, rather than about what I can or can’t do. I hope and pray that He will help me to keep the focus off of myself and on Him so that other people won’t see what I can do, but what an awesome God He is. This is not about me! And that alone is comforting.
UPDATE: Life is busy! Troy’s great-uncle passed away last weekend, so we were busy with family and the funeral on Sunday and Monday. Last night we had to do some shopping (read: exchange a pair of shorts that Troy didn’t try on and found out they didn’t fit – after we got home :) - such a guy!), so we were out most of the evening. Tonight is PeeWees (the class I teach on Wednesdays at church), and tomorrow is Troy’s birthday, so we’ll probably go out for dinner and maybe a movie – or whatever he decides he wants to do – tomorrow night, and then it’ll be Friday already! The big weekend is almost here. So due to above mentioned busy-ness, I think I’m going to take off work on Friday. I was planning on taking a half-day, but seriously. I just don’t think I’d be ready to go if I didn’t have the whole day, and also that way we can stay out a little later on Thursday for Troy’s b-day and not feel guilty about it. Troy talked to Pastor M and found out that we will be staying at their house all weekend (yikes!) so that should be interesting. He said they wanted to be able to spend AS MUCH time as possible with us. And talking to my friend Susie last night helped put my mind at ease. She’s such a sweetie. She just wanted to remind us that we don’t have to worry about being anything other than what we already are… to just be ourselves, and if God wants it to happen, it will happen regardless of “how we did.” It was just a really good reminder.
I haven’t updated on the ttc front for quite awhile because really there’s NOTHING going on. I’m on cd37 and I feel no closer to getting AF than I did the day after it stopped. So who knows. We were going to do all the testing this cycle, as long as we had the $$, but if I end up getting my period when we’re in Michigan, we may have to put it off again since they have to test on day 3. Really don’t want to have to do that, but well, what else can you do? It HAS been kind of nice to have this reprieve since I’m used to getting a period every 20 days or so, for 10 days at a time. Yes, my cycles suck. And now you know why I REALLY want to get pregnant – not for the baby that comes at the end, but for the relief from AF in the mean time – ha ha. :)
I don't think I'll be back on here again before the weekend, so think of me on Saturday morning as I’m sitting in someone’s house who I barely know, eating breakfast in my pajamas!
And as for the PS: Amanda, my email is cheerio1129@hotmail.com, if you could send me an invite for your blog, I’d really appreciate it. :)

Sorry about that...

I didn't mean to confuse or frustrate you ladies... I was just feeling contemplative in that last post, and basically thinking out loud, so I disabled the comments. Like I said, I'm not looking for sympathy or trying to get anyone to say good things about me... I had just been thinking a lot about that, and needed to get it out.
Thanks for caring. :)
I guess I've just been getting a little frustrated because every time I say something to someone about being nervous or something, they all just dismiss it and say I have nothing to worry about (not here, but IRL). I mean, seriously. If they would put themselves in my shoes... it's a HUGE deal, and I think the thought of being a pastor's wife would be intimidating for ANYONE, if they would stop to think about it, don't you think? Someone in that position has the opportunity to impact people for good, or in some cases not-so-good (my sister had a BAD experience with a pastor's wife, and is bitter about it to this day... and it happened over 10 years ago), and that's a lot of responsibility.
I'm not doubting our call to this in any way, shape, or form, but I'm just taking it seriously and I really want to go into it with the thought that it IS a big deal, and I CAN'T do it on my own, and I want so very badly to do a good job, with God's help.
AM I making too big a deal out of it? How would you feel?

What are your strengths?

So, you know that infamous interview question that goes something like, “What strengths do you have that you believe will help you perform this job”? Well when I chatted on the phone a couple of weeks ago with the pastor’s wife of the church we will be visiting next weekend, that happened to be one of her questions for me – not in so many words, but essentially she asked me what I view my strengths as. At the time I kind of fumbled my way through, since I really wasn’t prepared for a question like that, but ever since then, and especially the last couple of days, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that question. I woke up thinking about it at 5:00 this morning. And so far, I’m having a bit of a hard time coming up with what I feel is an adequate answer.
What would you view as strengths in a pastor’s wife? I believe at the time she asked me I said something about being musical, enjoying teaching children, blah blah blah… but as I started thinking about it, I don’t know if it’s just Satan trying to discourage me or what, but I’m having a hard time figuring out what my strengths – as a potential pastor’s wife – really are. Really, anyone can teach a group of 3-6 year olds some Bible stories, no? And just about anyone can play the piano as well as I do, and many people can play MUCH better than I can. I love working with the teen girls in our church, but once again, can’t anyone do that? I enjoy singing – but that’s not necessarily something that you need a pastor’s wife to do either. So those are not really great wonderful strengths by any means. And I’m not being down on myself, just honest.
So what else would someone look for in a pastor’s wife?
· A good counselor? Well I really don’t feel like I am that since I’ve never even attempted to counsel someone. I am an excellent listener. But when it comes to offering advice… well, a lot of times all I can say is, “I’ll be praying for you.” Which isn’t a bad thing, but many times people are looking for a lot more than that when they go to a counselor, aren’t they?
· A great teacher? Well as far as that, like I said I can do well with little kids, but I feel like I really don’t have a whole lot to offer when it comes to women twice, even three times my age. You know? I can share with them the things that God is teaching me in His Word, but when it comes to actual life experience, I feel like the well is comparatively dry.
· Great stand-up, take-charge leadership abilities? Oh boy, let’s not even go there. I’m SOOO not a natural leader. Not that I can’t try and do better at that, but I am more of a behind-the-scenes person. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it to the very best of my ability… but when it comes to telling other people what to do… not so much.
· Outstanding organizational skills? Well, I can do enough to help keep my husband’s life going, but beyond that I’m not great. Unless I write things down, I tend to forget a lot. Once again, something I can work on, but presently not something I’m outstanding in, that’s for sure.
So what am I good at? … … … well… … … I do love people. I’m usually pretty patient. I’m forgiving. I give people the benefit of the doubt. I’m not extremely outgoing, but I can work on that, and when I do warm up to you, I’ll be a faithful friend. I can pray. And I can support my husband like no one else can, and I will fiercely stick by him no matter what until the day I die. And since going through infertility, I have a compassion for people that are hurting that I never had before. I hope and pray that God will greatly use what we’ve gone through to give us a unique perspective on children/adoption/God’s will/so many other things.
Please don’t think I’m looking for pity or any “Oh Cherie, you’ll be great” comments. I’m just being honest with how I’m feeling right now. I KNOW that God equips those who He calls. I KNOW He is able to do great things through me. I know all that. I’m just having a bit of a hard time with this right now. I can say one thing for sure, that anything that I will become or will be able to do will be COMPLETELY God’s work… because when I think about what makes a great pastor’s wife, I don’t think of myself, that’s for certain. I just don’t have a lot to offer. I just hope and pray pray pray that He will be able to take the little bit that I do have to offer and make it into something that will bring ALL the glory back to Him.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."
–2 Corinthians 12:9

Happy Days

Well. He's finally on first shift! And we can start being a "normal" married couple for the first time in almost 4 years! So last night I got home and we decided to go to the driving range, then we did a little shopping and went grocery shopping... together! We haven't done that in a long time, and I have to say, it's SO much more enjoyable when you don't have to go alone. I'd even venture to call it fun. And easy! If he wants something, he picks it up and puts it in the cart, and vice versa. Aaah the simple joys.
SIL-to-be's shower went great on Saturday. She really enjoyed it and raked in a lot of great Pampered Chef stuff. Awesome. :) The rest of our weekend was nice too - Sunday afternoon we did some more shopping and picked up my dress for the August wedding I'm in - in Arizona. Can we say HOT??? But of course I'll do it for Susie!
We've been telling more people about the Michigan possibility. I've now told quite a few people at work... I'm just hoping it doesn't come back to bite me in the butt, since it's really a good possibility now that, even if this one doesn't work out, I won't be staying around here forever. I even had one of the tellers tell me to keep her in mind if we do move, because she wants my job. Hahaha, right? No, she was completely serious. She's pushing me out the door already! Ahhh, it's so nice to be appreciated. Oh well.
Well, off to lunch, then back for 4 more hours of back-breaking work... okay, not really. Can't imagine why anyone would want my job...

;)