Intentional

I've been working on a list, thanks to the help of Pinterest, that I think my husband will be in favor of. Normally he says that Pinterest saps the creativity out of people because all they have to do is look there to see what other people have already thought of instead of come up with the ideas on their own. :P  I can't tell you the number of times he has looked at me as I stand back admiring my latest project/decorating attempt/recipe and said, "Pinterest?" Yep, Pinterest has invaded your life again, Babe. Maybe there's a kernel of truth to what he says? But for not-so-creative people like me, it sure is nice to be able to glean from others' creative juices! ...But I digress. Yes, I think he will like my latest project because it has something directly to do with making his life - or I should say OUR life - better. I hope. Have you heard that word floating around the last couple of years in relation to your relationships/goals/place in life...the word "intentional"? Well, that's what I'm shooting for with this list. See, we've been married for, like, ever. Add a little toddler and a busy ministry to the mix, and let's just say that our time together isn't always...quality. It's not that we don't spend time together. Quite the opposite - we spend A LOT of time together. More than most couples, thanks to the nature of our job and more recently, the hub's health. BUT - most of the time we have together is spent talking "shop" (church stuff) or dealing with the crazy 2 year old or discussing bills or sitting in front of the TV or blah blah blah...you know, the stuff married people talk about/do 99% of the time. I've realized more recently that we don't really take the time to TALK TO each other. Deep stuff, like how we FEEL about things, or what our HOPES and DREAMS and GOALS are. We might discuss how things relate to our daily lives, but we don't really get past the surface much. And that's not really healthy. I think it's mostly my fault, actually, because I tend to be the quieter one of the 2 of us, and I'm not so good about putting my thoughts and feelings out there, even with him. It's not that I'm not comfortable with him, it just takes...effort for me to talk, and so instead I choose to just draw in and, well, NOT talk. And until recently I didn't really realize the problems that could cause. Then one day a few weeks ago, I had a major meltdown because I had been bottling a bunch of things up inside, and all of a sudden it all came out in tears and blubberings and all kinds of ugliness. And my sweet, patient husband helped me through it...but then it hit me, that I do that A LOT. Not so much the crying, blubbering ugly part, but the bottling up part. I just don't talk about things that I'm going through or feeling, and with my husband, the one I'm supposed to be intimately sharing this life with, that's not a good thing. So. Back to my list. I really want to make an effort this year to take time away for the 2 of us - apart from the distraction of a little boy (albeit a fun, sweet distraction), and the job, and all the other stuff - to really connect emotionally and have a chance to TALK about things. Feelings and thoughts and hopes and all that mushy stuff that doesn't get said on a daily basis but needs to come out sometimes. To take our marriage from good - because really, we have a GOOD marriage - to great. From close to closer. From friends to besties. You get the idea. I want to be INTENTIONAL about spending time together to cultivate an atmosphere of openness and sharing with each other - to get back to a closeness that we used to have and just, to my shame, haven't worked much on lately. I miss it. So, enter Pinterest. I've scoured it the last couple of weeks for fun date ideas, and I'm hoping, for Valentine's Day, to take him out...wait, shhhh, don't tell him ok?...To take him out for dinner and give him a brand-new pocket calendar - a special one, just with all of our dates for the year planned  inside of it. Fun, right? Let me just tell you, the planning itself has been enough to get me excited about dating this man again. It just takes me back to our dating days - the planning a special night out together and the anticipation of it and everything. I'm really, really excited about this, and I'm hoping that he realizes how necessary and profitable it will be! I think once he sees some of the things I have planned on there, he will have no problem getting on board. Things like a drive-in movie with a packed picnic and an at-home massage and sporting events and other good stuff like that. I've planned 2 date nights a month - one out, without the boy, and one in the house for after the boy goes to bed, plus a family day once a month for all of us to enjoy together, so that the little guy gets to enjoy some of this intentionality I'm trying to work on, too.
There's always room for improvement, right? Here's to being intentional, and hoping that our marriage will benefit from it! I'm just hoping he doesn't catch on that it was another Pinterest idea. ;)